It’s been a year since I left a traditional office job to open my private practice as a counselor. It’s been an emotional roller coaster, with much learning along the way. At the beginning, I was immobilized by indecision, by fear, focusing on everything that could go wrong. It was a painful time. Eventually I realized:
My view of self had to change, as well as how I talked to myself.
When I left the security of my old job, I was afraid. “Can I make enough money?” “Do I have the knowledge to build a business?” “Am I fooling myself?” When I told people of my transition, I said; “I lost my job,” instead of, “I’m starting a business.” My words created a frame that something was “done to me,” instead of making a proactive choice.
Through practice, I shifted my thoughts and language from fault, “I lost my job,” to “I’m starting a business.” Both statements are true, but have a very different emotional impact. I decided to live my life from a stance of choice, instead of reaction. My self talk must take a positive tone, in order to move through this life transition.
So what do I do now? How do I start? How do I manage a full time schedule of free time? How do I generate clients?
So many questions. Here are strategies I created in order to move ahead.
Focus on past success
I’ve been laid off jobs in the past, and learned how to organize my time effectively. Arise every day at the same time. Get dressed. Create a work schedule. Shut the computer down every night for relaxation. Practice gratitude that I have time to develop the business (or look for a new job-if this applies to you).
Be willing to change
I created a business 20 years ago, so I had baseline knowledge of what needed to be accomplished. I listed what was similar, and what was new. I taught myself what I would need in todays market. Research, research, research. I reassured myself of the skills I have now, that didn’t exist 20 years ago. I listed my current knowledge, strengths and abilities. Yep, I realized I’m capable of creating a new business.
Visualize Future Success
I allowed myself to daydream. What do I want? Who do I want to work with? What tools do I want? What work can I do myself, and what needs to be purchased? I allowed all options during the visualizations. I began with “Of course.” Instead of “I can’t.”
Create a business plan
I found a business planning tool that forced me to think about my mission, my goals, the people I wanted to serve, and the resources I would need. This was a valuable process. Building a plan towards the long term goal, helped me develop the short term tactics to move forward.
Eliminate my false sense of control
I have old messages of: “If I just work harder, everything will work out for me.” I didn’t anticipate having to change web developers, or the length of time to be approved by insurance panels, or how many products existed for me to research and choose for my business. In the end, I faced making the best decision in the moment, and followed it to the natural conclusion. After all, if I hated the outcome, I can just make another decision. This allowed me to move ahead, instead of being stuck in fear and indecision.
Trust the experts
Technology has dramatically changed, and I must adapt to move ahead in my business (or career). I chose to learn new skills, talk to people, admit I was clueless in certain areas, and force myself to trust “experts”. In the end, I have a dynamic website, I’m using cutting edge technology, and am engaged in social media strategies. My willingness to ask, listen, and put my ego in the back seat, gave me the resources I needed.
Trust myself in the face of my loved ones advice
I remembered that people love me, and care what happens to me. Thus, I was receiving large amounts of not requested, free advice. It was overwhelming at times. I reminded myself they can share advice, and I’m allowed to decide what to use, and what to let go. This allowed both of us the space to have an opinion.
Set short term goals
I kept tasks small and manageable, knowing the smaller steps were leading up to the larger goal. This allowed me to cross items off of the “to do” list, and gave me a sense of daily accomplishment. It strengthened my “Hope Factor” that I was doing everything I could to move ahead.
Practice patience and trust
I learned that I had to stop worrying and constantly working, and accept that building a business requires a consistent presence over time. I can’t create a full load of customers overnight just because I have a fantastic website. Building a reputation takes time and effort. And worrying 24 hours a day doesn’t serve me.
It’s been year, and I still consider myself in start up phase. In fact, I’ve extended my “start up” to two – five years, giving myself the mental space to allow the normal ups and downs of a new business. I continue to practice the above strategies, as my thinking doesn’t magically change overnight. I have to constantly monitor what I’m thinking and saying to myself, and alter it when necessary.
These strategies can apply to any life transition. Pick what works for you. The strategies don’t operate in a certain order, and some may not apply to you. Recognize transition does set us emotionally spinning. As you work through any transition, life will eventually settle into a rhythm again. Remember, whatever goes up, must come down.
If you would like to hear more on a topic, please contact Teri at teribeemer.com.
Teri is a licensed counselor, serving Oregon/Washington. Contact Teri for your free consultation.